I don't know if anyone will remember the stuff that I posted on here, but to make a long story short, I used to have severe social anxiety and panic attacks from the age of 20-my early 30's. Thanks to helping myself mostly and meds, I'm a lot better than I used to be! I still get panicky at times in some social situations, especially in groups and at parties, which I now avoid.

Anyways, I've forced myself to go to more meetup groups recently. I have tried to talk to people, and some people will talk to me, but most people ignore me. I almost always have to make the first move which I HATE! Even when I do, most people will go back to talking to other people and end up ignoring me after awhile.

What is baffling is why most people will say hi to everyone else but me! Even when I look at them and smile, they don't even try to look at me. WTH? How rude! I don't look weird or intimidating, so I don't get why people would be like that with me. They don't seem shy or anxious, so this makes NO sense to me at all!

This makes me feel bad, and frankly, a little angry that most people won't even give me a chance to try to get to know me at all! Does anything about me sound off? Maybe they can sense my shyness and nervousness and are put off by it, even though I think that I'm doing an OK job of hiding it?

Last night I went to a movie meetup group and one lady there has seen me many times before, and I've tried talking to her. She's in her 60's. I'm in my 40's. Well, I walked past the table to where her and a few new members were sitting and she didn't even say hi to me! I then stood there like an idiot for a minute or so before anyone even acknowledged me! I finally asked one woman there if this was the right group even though I knew that it was to break the ice.

So then I sat down there and sat there while they didn't say anything other than a chair was available at the table after one lady left right away w/o saying hi to me or waiting for me to say hi to her. So I sat in her place. After I introduced myself, they were polite enough, but no one tried to talk to me. They listened to that older woman go on and on about work and herself. I'm sure that all four people saw me standing there, but they said NOTHING until I spoke up.

Why would they react that way towards me? Also, the group organizer walked right by me and said nothing. I have said nothing to her in the past, but she did say hi to the other people in the group and waved to other people. One lady in our movie group that I invited to see a movie with one on one after a few moths from this movie group did mention not liking her that much as the organizer as she's not that friendly. She is fairly well liked in the group although she has admitted to being shy too. She doesn't act shy though. She's nice, and so far, she is the only person that I've kind of clicked with in the group in awhile. We like a lot of the same movies which is great! She has yet to invite me out anywhere though. She has been fishing with this other lady, and she's closer to her it seems like. They're both single, so they have both been to singles events together, so I guess that's part of the reason for that.

The organizer did mention that she used to have issues with talking to people in the past, but it doesn't seem like she does now. We have another organizer who is friendlier, but even he doesn't always say hi to me. He's friendlier with the other people. I normally don't go to dinner or hang out with them after the movies, so perhaps they think that I'm unfriendly?

I have talked to a few people in the group, but no one seems that friendly. A few of them apparently hang out together outside the group, but so far, no one has invited me anywhere! So far I've only hung out with that one lady from the group once and she seems nice. I've also met two other women at the same group awhile back, but they no longer hang out in that group. I have only kept in contact with one nice Asian lady from the group. As for the other one, she hurt me badly a few months ago, so to hell with her.

I have always had to initiate contact with her after awhile. I feel as if I'm unlikable and I don't know what I'm doing wrong! I know that not everyone will like me, but come on now, just about everyone is acting like they don't want to talk to me for whatever reason, and this hurts me as I'm a nice person who IS trying to put myself out there! Ugh! This makes me want to give up on most people!