I had a good two weeks and had lots log laughter and joy before this came. I've tried to identify a trigger and can't. I've been doing my diary cArds for my DBT class that starts tomorrow. It's my personLity to want to understand and identify and relate with people. I don't mean to be annoying. I want people to like me and I want to get better or I wouldn't bother going to see my t or pdoc. I've tried things me Nd t talk about and found some new ways to cope but things just aren't working right now.

I've been in the same clothes for four days and I don't give a ****. And I certainly don't want to be around people. I'm most safe in my room filled with distractions. I write in my journal a lot but sometimes want to relate to my peers.

I know many many other people deal with bp and I don't discount that when I feel bad.

I just feel a bit lost. My bp didnt use to be like this. My episodes were a way apart from one another. Now it seems little time passes before another. That's why my last pdoc said I have rapid cyclinf. I get mixed a lot.

I'm rambling. I'm not sure what I meant with any of that.