Thank you for sharing, GreenMoss.
I can relate to this.

It's so comfortable to avoid a situation that can cause pain. I have been doing it for all my life. The much you avoid it, the worse.
You always have a percentage that things go bad but you already have the thinking that all is going bad, so why not trying.

I did social exposure therapy and it helps. I see myself braver to do things.
I don't know if this is useful for avoidants but it helped me. It mights worth a try.