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Originally Posted by jelly-bean
I believe that it is a reality for some of us. It is something that others of us have to work at and find difficult to achieve. I don't know what it would take for me to self-soothe but maybe I'll do a bit of research and see what comes up.
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I've tried the things that my T suggests, candles, treats, a warm bath etc, but all I ever do is get obsessive. I'll get fixed on a small treat and go and buy more and more, I'll hoard whatever it is and be too afraid to use it. Instead of getting pleasure from something nice, I don't want to spoil whatever it is by using it up. I have spent £000s over the past few years on more and more stuff, lots of it is just sitting in its packaging or put away somewhere safe.
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Originally Posted by LelouchLamperouge
I know where you're coming from. We're told a lot from our T's that we have to learn how to be kind and love ourselves and build self confidence. I'm always told that I need to learn how to praise myself even for the little things that I may do.
Personally for me that feels impossible or light years away. Even though I am doing better and feeling better right now, I am doing no better in the way I still see myself. I have close to no value in my own well being. I've always thought negative about myself and had extremely poor self confidence and have always been self conscious about myself. This is how I've been since middle school and it feels like this has been ingrained into the way my brain functions. Who knows...maybe we can figure out little by little how to do this.
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I'm sorry you have to feel like this too. I hope that you figure things out, you deserve much better. I've managed periods when I've functioned quite well, it is very easy when I've been doing better to brush aside the more negative feelings, but maybe the only time to work on them effectively was when I was doing a bit better and less overwhelmed by my feelings.
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Originally Posted by KinkyGuy
It is possible BEFORE you enter a manic or depressive period. Once you are DEEP in a phase your neural pathways take over and you cannot self-help only perhaps cope, by doing certain things that work (stop drinking coffee, alcohol, drugs, excise). Before the neural pathways are triggered you can self-sooth and self medicate by certain exercises or regimen. Just my 2 cents.
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An intersting take, especially as I am finding myself more and more drawn to the conclusion that my depression is now so ingrained and the neural pathways so distorted that I can't be "fixed".
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Originally Posted by dysphoricspirit
A friend once told me to remember all the things that I'm grateful for when I feel like things cannot possibly get any worse. It's not really the same thing as learning to love myself, just remembering things I'm grateful for, like friends, family or pets, or even nature. It makes me feel a little better, and breaks the cycle of negativity and self loathing. It's not always easy though.
I think it is possible
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Thanks, I am glad that you have found things that help you.
I suppose my problem is that I NEVER feel that things cannot possibly get worse, for me no matter how bad the present I can ALWAYS anticipate worse and I expect it too.