Is self soothing even possible?

My T and my pnurse both tell me I need to self soothe. I not sure I even know what that means, let alone where to begin. I've noticed a lot of people here really struggle with being kind to themselves, so is self soothing just something that professionals say when they are out of options or is it a reality for some people?

I believe that it is a reality for some of us. It is something that others of us have to work at and find difficult to achieve. I don't know what it would take for me to self-soothe but maybe I'll do a bit of research and see what comes up.

I know where you're coming from. We're told a lot from our T's that we have to learn how to be kind and love ourselves and build self confidence. I'm always told that I need to learn how to praise myself even for the little things that I may do.

Personally for me that feels impossible or light years away. Even though I am doing better and feeling better right now, I am doing no better in the way I still see myself. I have close to no value in my own well being. I've always thought negative about myself and had extremely poor self confidence and have always been self conscious about myself. This is how I've been since middle school and it feels like this has been ingrained into the way my brain functions. Who knows...maybe we can figure out little by little how to do this.

It is possible BEFORE you enter a manic or depressive period. Once you are DEEP in a phase your neural pathways take over and you cannot self-help only perhaps cope, by doing certain things that work (stop drinking coffee, alcohol, drugs, excise). Before the neural pathways are triggered you can self-sooth and self medicate by certain exercises or regimen. Just my 2 cents.

A friend once told me to remember all the things that I'm grateful for when I feel like things cannot possibly get any worse. It's not really the same thing as learning to love myself, just remembering things I'm grateful for, like friends, family or pets, or even nature. It makes me feel a little better, and breaks the cycle of negativity and self loathing. It's not always easy though.

I think it is possible

I've tried the things that my T suggests, candles, treats, a warm bath etc, but all I ever do is get obsessive. I'll get fixed on a small treat and go and buy more and more, I'll hoard whatever it is and be too afraid to use it. Instead of getting pleasure from something nice, I don't want to spoil whatever it is by using it up. I have spent £000s over the past few years on more and more stuff, lots of it is just sitting in its packaging or put away somewhere safe.

I'm sorry you have to feel like this too. I hope that you figure things out, you deserve much better. I've managed periods when I've functioned quite well, it is very easy when I've been doing better to brush aside the more negative feelings, but maybe the only time to work on them effectively was when I was doing a bit better and less overwhelmed by my feelings.

An intersting take, especially as I am finding myself more and more drawn to the conclusion that my depression is now so ingrained and the neural pathways so distorted that I can't be "fixed".

Thanks, I am glad that you have found things that help you.

I suppose my problem is that I NEVER feel that things cannot possibly get worse, for me no matter how bad the present I can ALWAYS anticipate worse and I expect it too.

Been trying today. Decided to drink...though thst is bad idea, but decided to take that road. Sometimes...mostly, i do the other bad self soothe of eating to feel better. These ate not what T means. Meditation is good. Meditation that makes you fall asleep. Music used to for me but not anymore. Though i do listen to those music on youtube to help sleep and depression and those kinds.

I will admit here as a grown woman, i have a doll that have a meaning. I hug that because there is no body else who hugs me. If they did that research and gave those monkeys sonething furry to hug and it made them feel better, why not lonely me when there is no one.

Yes it is. I made a self soothe box in hospital where i put photgraphs, stuff that smells nice, old small toys, letters, things that make me feel better. I love it and it really helped me. It's a DBT-type thing. You could try it.

Yes, it's possible, but some of us have to work harder at it than others ...

Need soothing ...still working on it. Using psych forum to do. Sone people are soothed by talking to god. Some by their children. Some by pets. Watching tv or movies. Ice cream.

(thanks for this question and thread.. )

It is sometimes hard for me to self-soothe. I struggle with a low self-esteem and low self-confidence. To self-soothe I listen to music, pray, read scripture, come to pc, try to distract myself. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't help much. I am hoping you can find something that works for you.

It is hard to self-soothe when you are in the fires at work. You just don't have time to meditate and help yourself.

Me too. I didn't even realise that's why I overeat until recently and it has been going on for more than 20 years.

((((((eggplantlife)))))) I know I'm lucky I have my dog to hug.

Thanks that's a good idea and certainly much better than overeating or the teapot collection I amassed in my locker at work .

You are right about it being hard work, I seem to have got my efforts spectacularly wrong to the point of being triggered.

((((((Fuzzybear))))))

I think that is why I went for the "quick fix" of trying to buy myself happiness. It hasn't worked.

I have had a really hard day, where nothing worked, the only thing that came close was cuddling my dog, but she has a right to decide how much fuss she feels like and today it wasn't that much.