I know it was a panic attack because I was told by a psychiatrist that it was a full blown panic attack. I feel really scared and have to lay down in bed. I don't like to feel rage or anger. At first I felt scared about a panic attack, then I felt angry that someone was giving me a panic attack, and then I started enjoying panic attacks. I think that it is just extreme fear I em enjoying. It makes me feel like I can endure unpleasant things and I feel stronger. It reminds me of being abused.