that's really what it feels like for me at the moment. like i'm fighting a war with depression or just these voices in my head or my past or maybe it is just me, and whenever i don't pay attention for one second i lose the war and i'm feeling like crap all over again.

i thought i was doing better for the past week, but the relapses just keep coming and keep happening, no matter how hard i try, and no matter how well i was doing.

and at the same time, the outside world doesn't know anything about it (because personally, i can't be bothered trying to explain it to them as they don't even try to understand) and has all these judgements and opinions about me being lazy and boring and sad and that the only thing i do is sleep all day. i know that that shouldn't be my concern, but it still is and i can't seem to let it go.

does anyone sometimes feel like this as well? it's like, such an empty feeling and you're not even sure how you feel at all most of the time.