Thanks for the support everyone. Sometimes I think it would have been better to have the previous session as the final one, it was so lovely, and so I am considering not showing up tomorrow.

Although when I mentioned to T that I may not show up rather than having to say goodbye, it looked as if the thought was sad or hurtful to him. So, I'll show up, just like I have for every single other session.

I think this would be a much easier farewell if it was a mutual decision, if I felt ready to end therapy. The choice was taken from me though and made by him, so it just doesn't feel right.

Wonder if I'll get sleep tonight? *insert crazy maniacal laughter here* not likely.