I think it's a given that many posts here are about personal sensitive issues. I also believe it's nearly universal that few of us welcome criticism, condescension and smugness at our expense

I think advice--is complicated, and easily can be a disguise for self-congratulations, superiority and demeaning. If I give advice, the onus of me to do so out of generosity, not from my own deficiencies. If I set off another person's defensiveness, that indicates I've failed, delivering the advice poorly or with a dishonest, selfish agenda. If I need to lash at and brand someone who refuses my "wisdom," maybe I'm not so honest and not so wise.