Hi, all

I struggle with depression and anxiety, and have for my whole life. Over the last few months, it has taken a particular downturn, and while I have an excellent therapist and pyschiatrist, I'm still fighting hard every day and heavy in the thick of it. This is my first post. I suppose I'm here because I'm hoping to chat with some people who understand how I've been feeling first hand...to get some reassurance not necessarily that it will get better, but just that others have been there. I feel so sick these days, and trying to explain it to people without depression is exhausting. I don't mean to sound like I don't value the love and support I count myself so lucky to have - I absolutely do. But having people tell you to just keep fighting, and that things like going to work are things I just need to suck up and do...it just gets tedious.

Over the last few days especially I've been feeling like a ghost of myself. Ordinarily, I feel myself in there fighting on at least some level, and right now that person just feels gone. I feel blurry, and weighted down. I've spent the last few months hurting constantly and it feels like over the last few days it all just gave up and now it's just hollow. I want to want to fight, but right now I'm just so tired. Does this make me weak?

Anyway. I just wanted to say hello, and see if anyone else might relate. I hope you're all doing okay today, really.