((tryin)))

yes, these things happen.

guilt eh? let's talk.

what is it from? is it from wishing him dead all this time? is it from not feeling "happy" he's now gone? try and isolate this.

you do know that you didn't cause his death, by your wishing, right? you do realize that "happy" is not really a word for what you are feeling: some relief maybe, some acknowledgement of retribution he received for his lifestyle?

I do not think that you cry for him, and that's quite all right! You cry for yourself, and that's quite all right too! It has triggered you, and the memories are more real than they have been... and now you know that this one will never bother you - or anyone- again.

Unless you have been "following" his life, you really don't know that he changed at all, do you? Maybe you do... but the fact that he had a family, doesn't mean anything but that he may have hurt them too.

If he did change, you could use that for your benefit too...

Therapy is hard work.

Take care of yourself okay? Don't give this too much time, or you might drag yourself down and allow the "guilt" to take over.