You don't sound like a stalker. You sound like someone who has problems with romantic/intimate relationships, is aware of it, and is working on it.

I don't know how to fix it. I have problems with relationships myself. I'm over 50 and am staying away from them for now until I feel better able to deal with one.

As far as suggestions for what to do, about all I can suggest is maybe group therapy with people who are dealing with a similar problem. This can be psychotherapy or a 12-step group (not sure exactly which one would be right - you'd have to check to see what's available in your area.)

You could concentrate on other areas of your life (work, hobbies, making friends) for a while. You may need to take a break from dating/relationships and concentrate on strengthening yourself.

I know when I was in relationships that ended badly, it was very stressful and would make my depression and anxiety get worse. I really needed a period of time to "recover" before I tried another one.

I hope that you'll be kind and compassionate toward yourself. Relationship problems are really common. People on this forum discuss all kinds of problems from what you're describing to being emotionally distant and not able to connect with people to being too anxious to talk to anyone in the first place.

Just maybe recognize that seeing a guy, going on a date, having a relationship, even though it is a very normal life activity, is a little more risky for you because of your problems with depression. You need to feel strong and choose carefully who you get involved with. This is self-care.

Good luck to you. I hope you'll post here more. This is a good support community.