People don't see who people are because people aren't honest. I'm honest and up front and suffer for it. People say they want honesty and have no interest in games, lies, and manipulation, but that's the only way the vast majority of people know how to interact, and they're highly suspicious of anyone who doesn't lie, play games, and manipulate.


Again, I am honest and up front. I don't play silly games, lie about myself or anything else, or try to manipulate people in any way. Therefore, if anyone thinks I am anything other than what they see, they are assuming I'm either intentionally deceiving them or am too stupid to know who I am.


Seriously, how can this stuff be learned except through experience? We don't teach kids to read by handing them a college level textbook and getting angry with them when they don't read it flawlessly. I don't process emotions in the same way others do; it's that simple. Why is it that this one category is one in which there is no allowance, forgiveness, or acceptance? 'Oh wow, you made one tiny mistake? I'm going to cut you out of my life even though just last week I told you I loved you and wanted to be with you forever. You want to know what you did wrong? Too bad, a**hole.'


I am not understanding this hang up on the phrase 'opening up'. It's not that I open up as in start confessing a bunch of crap or whatever. I open up as in I relax and open myself to the possibility that I might not just be getting set up for another round of torture and confusion.


Ever hear the saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?" If each and every time you touch a hot stove, you get burned, you will eventually stop touching the stove. You'll walk wide circles around that stove to make sure you don't touch it. In my case, the stove has the ability to disguise itself as something innocuous and to promise me it's not a stove so it's okay to touch it. I hesitate, then I let my guard down and reach out and get burned again. Also, I don't know a single person... not one... other than myself who has not had at least one significant long term relationship before they were in their thirties. If it's a numbers game, it's rigged against me. 2015 is not halfway over, and I've been walked away from 4 times already... and I'm having a slow year. I passes that 101 a long, long time ago. I've even tried meeting people online. As soon as I say so much as 'hi' they're either deleting their profiles or blocking me. This seems far less like a numbers game and more like a government experiment to see how much rejection a human being can tolerate.


What few people there are who specialize in Autism and Aspergers focus on children. If you're an adult, they basically tell you to find meaning elsewhere in your life. One even said to me, "You interact well with your clients; you manage the people who work for you; I don't understand what more you want." How about something in my life other than work? How about friends, a family, someone to share my problems and my joys with? How about not having to wonder if there will even be pallbearers at my funeral if I die?