OK, I'm just making this its own post instead:

The thing is, my relationship with my H has improved lately, so I don't think it's about a comparison there. It's not ET in the sense of wanting to run off with MC. It's more about just feeling really understood by someone and like we get each other. Yesterday, when I was talking to T about something that MC had said, where he'd assumed he was doing something wrong, she was like "Who does that sound like?" referring to me. And that's come up before, too. I think our brains work similarly (for better or worse!) and we've gone through some of the same type stuff in the past. (Incidentally, because we are so similar, we'd be a complete nightmare as a romantic pairing.) So for me it's like, "This person genuinely understands me!" And I like feeling understood, so I want to be close to that person in some way. Does that make sense? I have no idea if there's some kind of transference term for that...I know there's something for countertransference if a T sees themselves in a patient, but don't know if there's the reverse of that.