I am in the same boat as you. My T urges me to call her when I need her...even if it's 2 o'clock in the morning. I desperately want to reach out to her in my darkest hour, but parts won't let me. So I'll make a deal with you...you promise to call your T when you need her, and I'll promise to call mine.

As for crisis hotlines, I stumbled upon this article just the other day:
Discuss | Being Beautifully Bipolar
My own personal experience with two I've used before were annoying. Both wound up being invalidating and useless. Based on some of the comments in this article, I don't think I'll chance using another hotline again.