You said mostly these things are happening around 4. Aren't you a teacher? Is there any chance that you give yourself permission to let go of what it takes to be a teacher about that time as the school day ends? I grew up with 2 teachers and I know that my mom especially had to work to change from teacher to mom every day. My father didn't need to transition but he was a terrible teacher so there's that.....But I know that one reason I liked jobs with a longer commute was that I got through that transition before I was home. People didn't understand that well but it helped me.