Maybe if I also talk about how much of a burden I feel I am, because maybe I just need a little reassurance that that's not necessarily the case. Once I feel like I'm a burden, its hard for me to feel deserving or worthy of their services, which feeds into my negative thought patterns and self-destructive coping skills.

Maybe you're right about the meds not working well, divine. It is a very likely possiblity. But I do feel responsible for my mood and thoughts and feelings, which makes me feel bad about myself and who I am.