poss trigger (have just had enough i dont want to die but i dont want to live either ! i have a constant thought that i cant cope anymore i dont want to cope anymore , i try so hard to be positive but it has gone on too long and i am so tired the depression and bpd were enough but add bereavment and alcohol dependance to the mix and its hell i just dont know what to do with myself !!! i am sick of feeling so crap i am sick of causing worry to my family i am sick of not coping and pretending all is well i think i lied about wanting to die , i am just a bloody coward, sorry i am rambling and probably saying stuff i shouldnt , i will shut up now . somebody please tell me how i can face the future when i have this inner self dwstuct that wont go away and my emotions are in a state of turmoil.)