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Originally Posted by Ion1280
I'm wondering if what I'm experiencing is dissociation? The last couple therapy sessions have been really intense and have involved bringing up a lot of painful childhood things. During the sessions I have been really upset(sobbing, not really focusing or able to focus or concentrate or follow a conversation very well.) After the session once I have time to calm down and regroup myself I try to review the session, but it really can't remember it. I can recall the beginning and end of the sessions where we are talking about non difficult stuff but the part where I was very upset are pretty blank. This has also happened in the past when I've been super depressed, I would just space out while having conversations and then after while I'd realize I had no idea what I was just talking about.
I'm just wondering if people can help me understand what's going on, cause I kind of feel like I'm losing it.
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Dissociation is employed by just about everyone at times. It is a coping mechanism that is employed by a person especially at high stress times that protects the mind from being overwhelmed.
A "healthy" person does it too though but on a lesser scale. You've heard people say and you probably have too -- that they've gone from one room to another and forgotten why they went there. It's a milder form of it than you're experiencing for sure.
If a person has a history of abuse in childhood, it was a survival tool and was a "healthy" way to handle situations. But when it continues to be relied upon into adulthood, it becomes a big problem and needs to be handled properly and with a professional. You say it occurs when you are talking about childhood memories. Is the counselor aware of your childhood and that you are experiencing these episodes? It is important to know whether the counselor understands abusive history and its affects. If this counselor isn't knowledgeable or experienced in dealing with abuse "victims", I'd recommend finding a counselor for just you, who is experienced to help you with this. These kinds of discussions should be avoided in couples therapy until you and your partner are informed and understand all this.