Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina
I use to what I call "overshare" my Bipolar struggles with my husband .. What I realized was it stresses him out, He in most ways cant "fix it" and I am the only one that can help minimize how much havoc it can cause in most cases. He can offer support and hugs etc .. but he cant fix it or even manage me if I am in a bad episode. That is why I have Pdoc and T. They are trained to help me.
I lean on my husband for the support like any marriage should have it in. When my Bipolar is at a really bad place of course I tell him, He often isn't even aware as I always internalize things ...
But I just don't allow Bipolar to take up more space on my marriage than absolutely needed. I work very hard to keep Bipolar as stable as possible , When there is a problem I address it quickly. its not fool proof. Spouses and friends can just get burned out if relationships , partners friends co workers get "Bipolar Bipolar Bipolar " all the time.
My finding PC was one of the best gifts I have ever gotten. I can come here and talk to people that deal with the same issues I do and people really "get it" it helps me validate my problems, feelings,vent and know that I'm not alone and I have some fantastic friends here.
I find often its healthy for some partners to go see a T for a lil while to learn about X mental illness and learn ways for themselves to stay healthy while there partner is having a hard time, Its easy for people with any illness mental or physical to practically drown there significant others, So healthy boundaries need to be found and used for everyone on the planet.
|
Thank you! To think I almost hesitated on asking this question/ sharing this... I feel actually this is one of the most important things for me. My boyfriend is SO great, he is so much joy in my life, he is soo patient and very in tune with me and while he can be blunt (his culture) overly honest (at times, but is learning) this is all new to us both!
I appreciated hearing your experience, and I find these forums very valuable also. They are a wonderful outlet. BF even criticized them yesterday but b/c he doesn't understand them. He said to be careful on here, b/ most will rant/rave about negative stuff. He was just worried i might get sucked into some downward spiral. However, he doesnt realize that it really helps me, there are some great positive stories shared here- and that I can be of help to others too, helps me.
I think you are smart to manage your relationship the way you do- and perhaps my BF needs to be cut some slack. He gives more then hugs and support lately, he is frankly very worried b/c i freak out so much on him, threaten awful things, throwing things at him and just being 'crazy!!'. I can't believe he is still here and obv i am concerned that he will grow so tired of this.
I think by me leaning less on him, more on myself and others, my team will be more balanced. And yes- actually i said to him lately (and to myself) i want to not talk at ALL about Dx or bi polar or anything of that nature for a few days. He said "where do i sign up?" Sigh- poor guy.
Thank you
