I can see your roommate's point. If a guy lays on your lap, there is a very good chance that he is going to think of you in a sexual way.

The thing is, in relationships we can't really rush to get to the good parts. What we reach by rushing isn't likely to turn out to be the "good part" that we are yearning for.

Are you a student in college? If so, my suggestion is to speak to a therapist at the campus counseling center. I think that a therapist (whether or not at college) can help you figure out what is going on with you and help you towards the fulfillment that you seek.