Christina who is very wise, said keep it on one thread, see I am trying to make it easier for you to skip this .... but I can not skip it ... I live it ... if this can be called a life .... I have all the trappings of a successful life ... I have even over come my work fear (mostly) ... but it is just not "there" for me ... it eludes me ... it teases me ... I am tired of failing to catch it ...