That's why knowledge is power. Sometimes those subjected to abuse or are at risk to be, have a more forgiving nature. Minimizing flaws in others, as to how those flaws affect them.
Don't need to be hypervigilent, however, sometimes it's necessary to dig deeper to see clearer.
For instance I've already read a post by the OP, that she says, but she did withhold information about speaking with exes and thus could understand how/why her bf would behave jealous. Which minimizes/brushes aside his reaction.