Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Not every break is necessarily clean. Maybe there's something to learn through this relationship about what you do and don't like. I don't personally find 16 with just turned 19 a huge leap. My understanding is that to cross into a five year difference is what is eyebrow raising. If he was a minor when you met, that makes this a bit different on that topic, for me.

That said, I don't know of many relationships that begin in this age bracket as withstanding the test of time. Mainly because as we grow into our 30's and 40's, perspective on life changes. We become different people than where we were in our teens.

I don't know if you're interested, but I was reading about attachment theory, the other night. We all have varied styles and it went into detail about those styles and how they formulate our adult relationships. Gaining a healthy style leads to a better chance at long term relationship successes. Which is something worth working on before entering any relationship.

I can understand how sometimes parents aren't in tune with social aspects of children, and how it could have been missed that you weren't formulating necessary bonds. Again, back to attachment theory. The theory does touch upon social anxiety.

I'm not sure what flags were raised about your bf, but there's a reason why those in abuse scenarios gravitate these individuals to them. Not that one deserves mistreatment. Just if there's susceptibility to this, knowledge is power.

I agree with this and with the view about the age gap too. The red flag I see is that OP must have felt threated or at least bothered in the relationship as she was searching on the "abuse" subject.

That's why knowledge is power. Sometimes those subjected to abuse or are at risk to be, have a more forgiving nature. Minimizing flaws in others, as to how those flaws affect them.
Don't need to be hypervigilent, however, sometimes it's necessary to dig deeper to see clearer.
For instance I've already read a post by the OP, that she says, but she did withhold information about speaking with exes and thus could understand how/why her bf would behave jealous. Which minimizes/brushes aside his reaction.

Oh, yes. I'd definitely be jealous if that was the case.