I have been slipping down the past week or so, since the episode when I thought perhaps I should be hospitalized, then got myself together. Too many bad things converging -- end of my unemployment benefits, end of this sublet. I asked my brother -- the one who screamed "Kill yourself, just do it" into my voice mail when I was suicidal last spring -- via email if he would drive a truck with my furnishings from Florida to New Orleans. At first I got back a rather judgmental email. My brother calls my depression being a "drama queen." He took up New Age thought a few years ago and wants to be my "teacher." I have studied this philosophy for more than 20 years and have published several articles in a religious magazine. Then an email saying no, contact with me upsets his "sacred space" and he is not available to drive the truck. I expected that, yet I yearn for a family that is kind and loving and supportive.

I have no one, no one to turn to. I am desperate. I know other people on this forum are in bleak situations, too. No wonder we are depressed. How do we go on? I don't know.