How Do We Go On?

I have been slipping down the past week or so, since the episode when I thought perhaps I should be hospitalized, then got myself together. Too many bad things converging -- end of my unemployment benefits, end of this sublet. I asked my brother -- the one who screamed "Kill yourself, just do it" into my voice mail when I was suicidal last spring -- via email if he would drive a truck with my furnishings from Florida to New Orleans. At first I got back a rather judgmental email. My brother calls my depression being a "drama queen." He took up New Age thought a few years ago and wants to be my "teacher." I have studied this philosophy for more than 20 years and have published several articles in a religious magazine. Then an email saying no, contact with me upsets his "sacred space" and he is not available to drive the truck. I expected that, yet I yearn for a family that is kind and loving and supportive.

I have no one, no one to turn to. I am desperate. I know other people on this forum are in bleak situations, too. No wonder we are depressed. How do we go on? I don't know.

(((((((((((((((((((((Wants2Fly))))))))))))))))))))))))); oh my dear, I wish I had the answer's for you. I guess we just do, go on that is. Yes we all have struggles here but we are also in this forum to help each other.

Your brother does not sound like he understands and definetly is not supportive, which makes it even harder. I feel for you. My sisters said that too me many years ago. It still bothers me but I just try to tell myself that those were selfish and mean words. They are only words.

We are here for you and want to see you well. You do have us to turn to, please hold on. We care, all of us. Hang in with us.

My thoughts are with you,

Justy

Hugssss to you, Wants2Fly. We all in life want love and support. Unfortunately sometimes our family can't give it to us. You have such incredible giftings inside you and I know that as you reach out, more and more people will begin to attach themselves to you and befriend you. Its so hard to wait with the pain, but the pain is not a negative reflection of you. Its a negative reflection of the world we live in. You are the bright spot in allot of people's lives. Feel free to message me anytime.

Hi Wants2Fly,

I have a brother like that. I think that there are some people who are so afraid of other's emotions that they cut them off. If the person doing the cutting is a member of your family then it's rotten.

The good news is that people on this board know about the hard stuff and are always prepared to listen and give support. Many of us have been to the darkest places and yet we are still here.

My message is that we do get through it, and there are better times. The hard stuff does pass.

Good luck

Myzen

We go on because we have to - we have no other alternative. But we have this forum, where we are kind of like an extended family all spread out but still caring what happens to each of us. I am fortunate to have a brother who has always been there for me - who tried to protect me as best he could when we were growing up and who would do anything in his power to help me now if I asked. I am so sorry you are having the problem and I hope you are able to get your move accomplished without too much more anxiety and more problems. We all keep plugging away and I have asked myself (and my T) that same question "why do I keep trying? Why do I keep going on?". So far, he hasn't answered (grin) because he knows I know why - we have to if we are to survive emotionally, physically and psychologically. Our innermost selves know that survival is important and so we continue to get up every morning and, at times just go through the motions of living and caring.

We go on because of all the endless possibilities that life has to offer. We all want to live a happy and fulfilling life. One that is full of love and security and when those qualities are stripped from us it may seem like there is no end in sight, but we must keep in sight the glimmer of hope. We must keep in mind that no one is perfect and that no one's life is either. There will always be some aspect of our life that is not where we want it to be and there will always be stressful events lying in wait for us but if we put our best foot forward and do the best that we can at the moment, we will get through and no one can expect more than that. It probably sounds like I'm preaching but I'm not. I have my own issues and bouts with depression and bulimia but when I get down I know that in my heart of hearts, I want to live and if I at least try, I not only can but will be happy. It just takes time and a lot of effort.

It seems that you're biggest stresses comes from too many bad things happening at one time and from fractured relationships. Maybe it would help if you concentrated on one thing at a time and separated each individual issue. For instance, concentrate on getting your things moved without the assistance of your family and getting settled in New Orleans. It seems that the issue with your brother is a little too complex to be dealing with now. As far as support goes, I read on the general forum that you have two friends that you've know for a long time. Maybe you could reach out to them for some support. I'm sure they would love to help you. That's what friends are for, right?

You will get through this, I just know it. I have faith in you.

<font color="blue">I think most ppl go on because they don't know better. Well, that didn't come out right. Sorry, I am so depressed too my thinker quits on me...

personally I have no clue as to why ppl live. well, yes, I do I guess.

either ppl are so involved in life and work and family that they are too busy to do otherwise and the very aspect of living carries them day to day. But they must have some reward that keeps them going: life work family? Anyway, there's payback that makes living worth it....

ppl like us continue... hmmm because we are hoping there is some hope coming soon. ?

we don't really have much if any hope of our own. I personally try to use my T's hope for me... relying on him being honest that things can be better... though that's pretty thin lately...

Hope. People go on because of hope... and when that's gone... so are we.

(Sorry Mars, but there is another option... and everyone who has had true depression knows this.. remember? Those who have been depressed may not believe there is any other option, not anymore, but they once knew otherwise IMHO)