I don't get it. I was just in the hospital for like 4 days and I feel back to the way I was except the fact that I don't feel so paranoid anymore at home. I haven't gotten out of the house yet, however. But I feel like I keep buying things to try and fill this void in my life and once I get the thing I buy, it's like it doesn't fill that void and then I just get even sadder. I'm tired all the time and I suppose I could just sleep my days off, but I'd also like to do stuff again. You know? I want to be human again. Not like this... not life like this.