My kids are the only thing that keep me going. If not for them I would definitely let the depression win. Sometimes I feel like fighting against the depression is what increases the anxiety. I am scared of my anxiety which of course just makes it worse. Fun and joy seem so far out of my emotional vocabulary right now that I can't even dream of having that again. I am working really hard to break through my walls, but I just can't get passed the fact that it is going so slow. I know it is for a reason and I have expressed this to my T and he just smiles and says we will pick up here next week. Sigh....