Quote:
Originally Posted by Achy Turtle Armor
Waiting on a call from my therapist. It's 9:13 here. I have such anxiety right now. My guts are hurting like I've done 100 crunches. I will be honest with him about what I did yesterday. I don't say here because I don't want to cause any problems with anyone else. I'll say I took 6 times the amount of something just to get effed up which I did but the other side effects are horrid which begs me to ask why do I keep doing this? I'm concerned he will want to hospitalize me again. I also feel guilt or shame for doing it after he "babysat" me all week via phone so that he didn't have to put me in the hospital. I don't know what I would do with me if I were him. How do you help a person like me? Let's face it, hospitalization doesn't really do anything except keep me safe for a few days...
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Okay. I survived that. I think he was angry that I did what I did but quickly calmed down. We talked for ½ an hour about stuff. He said he wants me to call him next time before I do something self-destructive. I don't understand why I am hesitant to call him when other times I come up with excuses to call him. I'm so thankful he didn't quit on me. I really thought he might. Anyway, my anxiety is all but gone and my stomach feels normal again. I'm really glad I told him because it is necessary for me to get better. Now I need to go pick up a white key tag at NA tomorrow night. I'm starting over.