Many of you have responded to me about my situation (see my post history for the backstory of this if you want, I've made 2 threads) and I'm definitely reading and taking all into consideration and I really appreciate the time people have put into responses. I think deep down I want to leave this therapist, but I also am trying to not overreact so I'm really thinking about all of this. I wonder if maybe my therapist is right and I am the one who has been inappropriate and wrong. I know I have mental health issues so maybe I am so unwell that my perception is totally skewed and I think I'm not but I'm actually doing all kinds of things wrong.

According to my therapist, by me saying that I think he did anything wrong, I am backing him into an unfair corner. I am putting him in a lose-lose situation, that either he was wrong to hug me in the first place or wrong to stop the hugs. He believes I am stuck on accusing him of trying to intentionally harm me (I don't think that is the case), and he does not like his decision to stop hugging me being challenged (even though I don't think that is it, I'm not challenging the decision, I am unhappy with how he handled the whole thing). By saying that I think he messed up, I am putting pressure on him to feel bad for setting a boundary he has a right to set. Apparently I am not just voicing my unhappiness, I am really stepping over the line by believing he did anything wrong. He says I am very accusatory, and I'm going to have problems with people I am close to because I'm going to end up questioning them when they do things I don't like and it's going to be violating boundaries.

I asked him what is next for me, what can I do now? I said that if I have these problems with communicating and boundaries and being accusatory, then what can he do to help me not be that way? He mirrored it back to me in a very snotty way, "What you are asking is, 'you think I'm borderline, so now what are you going to do about it?'" when I genuinely was asking him what I could do to improve how I interact with people. I clearly said, what can you do to help me, he took it as me saying "Fix me". He doesn't actually have an answer for me; I am supposed to just keep coming and doing the stream-of-consciousness talking that he encourages.

He says if he had refused to hug me in the first place, I would have felt even worse. So he hugged me, then stopped, and now that's no good either. He believes I would have had an emotional overreaction no matter what. I think that's a bit unfair and presumptuous, he thinks he can accurately predict it based on my behaviors and emotional reactions.

I wish someone could crawl into my brain and tell me the real answer, haha. I'm so frustrated, I feel like I am arguing with my therapist, he says it's his job to react genuinely and he's just being honest and acting how anyone would when I behave this way in the real world. I feel bad that maybe I am violating boundaries (which is horrifying to me because I HATE making people uncomfortable), frankly I am sick to death of this. But I can't seem to let it go.