I'm not really sure what is going on. I'm confused about life. My brother has just become a dad and it all seems so surreal to me. I don't know how to explain it..it's like of course I know where babies come from but at the same time it doesn't make sense to me... Feel stupid for even saying that.

Hmm that wasn't even what I came here to say. Just having a bad day I guess. I can sense I'm heading back to that place that ends up with me in hospital. But I don't really want to do anything about it. Trying to plan things out to make it stop once and for all. I'm fed up with being stopped all the time and ending up in hospital instead. So I need to polish my mask and act ok until I'm ready to do it.

This post is probably pointless. I'm not even sure what I am trying to say. Just everything is a confused mess in my head right now.