Sheesh. She's covered all the bases. My narcissist grandma has a similar phrase, "When you're this old, you can be rude. It doesn't matter how you act anymore." She says that, then my poor mother spends the afternoon crying her eyes out over something rude she said to her.

I agree that boundaries are everything. If she's less enmeshed in your personal life, you won't care what she thinks. Stop "bringing" things to her. Stop going to the well, there's no water there. For instance, don't tell her you're buying a piece of jewelry or what it costs. She doesn't need to be involved and she's shown a history of not being helpful here. It's none of her business what you buy. Share that with people who are better friends to you in life. Don't disclose. She's a broken record. The only thing we can really change is our own behavior.

As someone said on another thread today, "Of course your mother can push your buttons - she installed them."