When I desire closeness, the desk feels like a barrier she can use to keep her distance. If I'm hurting, I wish the desk wasn't there. She used to move closer - close enough to reach out to touch my knee - when we were in an office without the desk in the way, which was nice if I was really sad. However now, she keeps her distance and it makes me wish she got closer.

If I'm anxious, it feels safer - like something keeping her at a safe distance, so she can't come in too close. If I'm especially nervous, I move my chair even further from my side of the desk.