I started to cry a little while reading this... I have been with abusive controlling men in my life...sticking around, trying to work it out and fix it only hurt me in the long run... I have a huge mistrust in men now and I have a major temper if any man makes me feel threatened in any way, its as if I am back in the moment when I was under attack. I have a life long restraining order against the man who hospitalized me by trying to gouge my eyes out after punching me in the stomach, losing my breath... but I was able escape when he tried burning my things in the kitchen as I was laying on the floor out of breath and the flames got out of control...
Listen... it ONLY GETS WORSE. These examples you are giving are TRUE SIGNS OF MAJOR ABUSE. You sound like such a loving and caring person PLEASE get out of this and cut ties immediately for your health and safety of yourself and family. WOMEN ARE MADE WITH INSTICTS TO PROTECT OURSELVES AND OUR CHILDREN... Your instincts are screaming at you right now which is why you are feeling scared and afraid and reaching out for help on this forum.
I hope and pray that you get out fast and I wish you and your family the very best.