I find myself thinking and not aware of the lapse of time that goes by. I have been through too much and it seems to be weighing me down. I need a break but there doesn't seem to be anything. I have to make everything happen for me cause otherwise nothing will. It is such a drain. Yet i feel detached and a great sense of peace in the middle of all of it. Like nothing really matters anymore. People, their problems, their voices, nothing. It just drowns right out to a quiet white noise in my ears. I feel like the philosopher's stone lately. And that is where i am at. There are days i want to be here, there are other days i don't want to be anywhere at all. I just want to be incognito and not be found. I like my quiet, my thoughts guard it, it is my sanctuary.