My mental health has never been great, it's been up and down for as long as I can remember. In the last 6 months it's been worse as ever and I ended up in hospital. I started seeing a new therapist and got new medication, so things started looking better. But I still wasn't happy.

So, since I've wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. I got a puppy about 2 months ago. She was 8 weeks when we got her and I don't regret a single thing, I love her to death and wouldn't take it back.

But I sit in my room on a night crying because I want my old life of lying in bed and doing absolutely nothing all day, or drowning myself in video games, back. I miss not having responsibility and all that. But now I have a puppy who wants to play all the time and whilst I am perfectly capable of looking after a dog, I feel like I love it but I don't at the same time. I just miss being able to lay in bed and not have a care in the world.

The thought of rehoming her makes me cry, so that's not an option. I love her too much to trust her care to anyone else, I don't even like it when my mum looks after her if I go to my boyfriends for the night.

But I don't know how else to cope. I feel guilty and selfish 99% of the time because I will put her in her crate so I can have an hour nap upstairs because my sleep is atrocious at the moment. I even feel guilty being on my laptop instead of playing with her.

Don't get me wrong, I spend a hell of a lot of time with her. I do play with her, take her for walks and just spend time with her. But I always feel bad when I take time to myself. It's killing me and it's doing the opposite of what I thought getting a dog would do. I know it'll get somewhat easier when she gets older and is less reliant on so much puppy play time (I know she'll still need time spent with her obviously).. but I don't know how to cope now. It's driving me insane.