Am I being selfish?

My mental health has never been great, it's been up and down for as long as I can remember. In the last 6 months it's been worse as ever and I ended up in hospital. I started seeing a new therapist and got new medication, so things started looking better. But I still wasn't happy.

So, since I've wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. I got a puppy about 2 months ago. She was 8 weeks when we got her and I don't regret a single thing, I love her to death and wouldn't take it back.

But I sit in my room on a night crying because I want my old life of lying in bed and doing absolutely nothing all day, or drowning myself in video games, back. I miss not having responsibility and all that. But now I have a puppy who wants to play all the time and whilst I am perfectly capable of looking after a dog, I feel like I love it but I don't at the same time. I just miss being able to lay in bed and not have a care in the world.

The thought of rehoming her makes me cry, so that's not an option. I love her too much to trust her care to anyone else, I don't even like it when my mum looks after her if I go to my boyfriends for the night.

But I don't know how else to cope. I feel guilty and selfish 99% of the time because I will put her in her crate so I can have an hour nap upstairs because my sleep is atrocious at the moment. I even feel guilty being on my laptop instead of playing with her.

Don't get me wrong, I spend a hell of a lot of time with her. I do play with her, take her for walks and just spend time with her. But I always feel bad when I take time to myself. It's killing me and it's doing the opposite of what I thought getting a dog would do. I know it'll get somewhat easier when she gets older and is less reliant on so much puppy play time (I know she'll still need time spent with her obviously).. but I don't know how to cope now. It's driving me insane.

Can she be a calm dog ? You could play with her a lot, then plan to simply chill with her or sleep, the puppy next to you. As she will be slightly tired, you can rest and she can too. She will appreciate your company and it's time spent together.

She does chill, she's not hyper all the time. I took her on a walk this morning, half an hour walk and she's been sleepy ever since. I put her in her crate for 45 minutes or so whilst I went to tidy my room and have 5 minutes to myself. And since then, she's just laid down and slept and chewed her way through a plastic toy.

This is just a rarity unfortunately.

Hello Khione, what type of dog is it? The first 6 months of having a puppy are very busy and in my experience they don't start to settle down until at least a year. I'm not a fan of crates, I wouldn't like to be locked up, it's better to train the dog to lie on their own bed. Dogs and pets are good for mental health, just bear in mind the puppy stage can be hard work, it doesn't last forever, in fact you'll miss that puppiness in no time!

Hey, she's a Rottweiler cross, and the only reason she goes in the crate is because we can't let her chew the house to bits. And since I'm still living with my mum, it's her rules for the next few months (I'll be moving out as soon as I can find a place). She's house trained already and is trained to just lay on her bed, which is what she does if I need 5 minutes in another room. I only crate her if I'm going to be longer than an hour and except on a night, she's in her crate for no longer than 3 hours.

I hate crating her, I hate crates in general, but she destroys everything she can get her mouth on to. She's even started pulling up the carpet in our living room. So it's a last resort until I can move out to a place with hardwood floors and cheap furniture!

I love her puppiness, she makes me laugh which is really good for my mental health and she is nice to be around. Just the company makes the days better, I just get very overwhelmed and like I can't cope sometimes and I feel so guilty for it.

There's nothing wrong with your needing some time to yourself. My daughter's dogs were crate trained and think of their crates as their rooms. Take the time you need and keep your dog safe in it's crate. And let go of the guilt.

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I AM a proponent of crating - as long as it isn't an excuse for not spending time with your dog. In otherwords I think the only time the dog should be in a crate is at night or when you are out of the house.

It is important that the dog think of the crate as a safe place, not as punishment

Puppies are a lot of work. Anyone will tell you that. My pup is going on a year, and in the beginning there were times she was simply exhausting. A friend who got a pup at the same time sometimes would tell me she was about nuts with her pup.

Keep working with her, and as she becomes more trained and starts to outgrow some of the puppy behaviors, things will get easier.

It sounds to me like you are adjusting to the responsibility that comes with a pet. As long as you are making the choices according to what is best for you and the dog, I can't see anything selfish about it
I used to have two guinea pigs and sometimes it was a lot of work. I couldn't go on longer vacations, had to take them to the vet etc etc. But I loved them and they thanked me with their presence and cuddliness and well being, so it was worth it. I miss them a lot and also I think that taking care of another being than ourselves serves us as a reminder that we are indeed responsible and connected with each other
You will be fine Don't beat yourself up and enjoy your dog's company.

Don't feel bad about crating her! My dog thinks of her crate as her own little private space. She goes in there on her own. Rarely do we put her in there and shut the door....only if we have company and she won't come down and such.

Puppies are a LOT of work! I've only had one puppy before....after that we decided to get dogs who were past the puppy stage. You need time to yourself, too. As long as you're getting in plenty of puppy time each day, don't feel bad about seeing to your own needs. Your puppy won't love you any less!

I got a puppy at a similar time in my life two years ago. I agree with everyone-- the first six months to a year are brutal. My partner and I bought our dog together, but it seemed like I was the only one doing anything for him-- playing, training, feeding, etc. And that was bad because I was making my pup a priority over my work and over myself. I had already been depressed but the puppy responsibility and stress wore me down even further.

Similarly, my pup would not sleep or keep himself entertained with toys even after hours of interactive fetch and/or frisbee. We chose a high-energy herding dog, so he would go on walks but for him walking was the equivalent of having a nap. After about a year he became more affectionate, and now he even occasionally naps-- so there is hope!

I also am a proponent for crating when you're out of the house or at night. It gives your dog a safe place that she will associate with resting on a structured routine, with the added bonus that you won't have to worry about her getting into things around the house when you're not able to supervise.

On the other hand, when you are at the house I would suggest trying to keep your pup with you. Even if at first she is rambunctious and tries to get you to play while you are trying to nap, she will get the hang of napping with you. Even my little monster learned. Just try to get some energy out of her before you lay down. Then not only will you feel less selfish for not crating her during your nap, but you'll also have a warm pup to sleep next to! Best of luck, Khione!