It's the trauma. You remember because it was traumatic. I don't doubt that you have memories from this early in life. Some trauma survivors do and some don't, sometimes our brains do us the favor of blocking those memories out. Meanwhile people with no trauma history may not remember anything before first grade.

You found yourself in a scary, seemingly unsafe situation and your mind went to work trying to figure out what to do. All that anxiety and cortisol cemented the memory in your mind.

I can remember my life as early as 2 or 3 and that's when the sexual abuse began. My earliest memory is of being beaten for trying to tell on my abuser.

How accurate are these memories? That's hard to say. You were very young and nothing is obvious to a toddler or baby - everything is new and pretty confusing. What you can rely on is your feelings that are wrapped up in that memory, the feeling of being scared and unsafe.

Your mother may have made some mistakes. Even stupid mistakes. But all moms make mistakes. It's unfortunate she was more focused on meeting men than being a good mom. We don't always get the parents we deserve. Some people just don't realize that a relationship with their child is forever, whereas romance may come and go.

My mom also put her men first. If she started dating tomorrow, I'd hear from her 100 percent less. She also pitted me in the middle of her marriage when my dad started cheating on her, making me out to be a troubled teen so he'd get more involved with the family again. I love her nevertheless. She's a better person now even if she's not the best mother/friend in the world.