Quote:
Originally Posted by AnaWhitney
Hi just wanted to say that I have read this whole forum and as it went on it looks like you got a really good handle on your own feelings, even without speaking to your T. I think I would have reacted similar to you, there would be no way I could sit there knowing someone else was waiting.
I have a thought, (which could be way off base) but if you are like me and find it hard to stand up for yourself, maybe a part of you was waiting for your T to do just this for you, showing you that you deserve to have your needs put first, even ahead of this other person. To have a T do that for you even though you said it was ok must be pretty huge, although it does give the T a lot of power that we should hold ourselves. Is there any chance a part of you resented the fact that it did not work out that way?
I know that I am contradicting myself because of what I said at the very start of my reply but these are both my thoughts!
Well done for handling this whole situation so well. I hope it goes well for you on Friday
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Thank you, Ana
Yes, I do think there's a good chance I was hoping T would stand up for me where I didn't stand up for myself. I hadn't really thought about it that way, but I think you're right on the mark. I know there's part of me that wishes T had prioritized me over crisis person despite my saying it was fine. I figured this had to do with me being selfish and competitive and wanting to be 'the favorite.' It hadn't occurred to me that the wish might have had to do with wanting someone else to stand up for me.
Gee, what a mess our brains are.