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Old Jan 20, 2016, 11:38 AM
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doctorwho737 doctorwho737 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Posts: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by IrisBloom View Post
One thing to remember is that recovery is a long slow process. You get better incrementally, not huge bounds at a time. (Tho it could happen, as in a sudden understanding or break through.)

I know it doesn't seem fair that the people who screwed you up go on about their business and you are left to try to deal with the damage, and it's not, but you can't change them, you can only change you. Forgiveness is for you, not the others. It is letting go of the bad feelings inside of you. It does not mean the abuse didn't happen or that it was really ok for them to do it. And it certainly doesn't mean that you go around them for more abuse. It means that you are healing yourself in spite of the past and present.

Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Don't beat yourself up for mistakes. Stay away from things and people that cause negative emotions. And above all, keep trying. You are a survivor!
Thing is I became what many people who are abused become..I no longer needed my abuser because I do it myself now.

I know where those neg thoughts are, they are front and center. I fell in love with a woman out of my league: "What were you thinking, are you stupid, that was never going to happen."

So everything becomes like that and I have done it for so long it is like a mountain in my head.
Hugs from:
IrisBloom