Little turtle, I try to do and move as much as i can but its not much, i know i'd need more movement, i hope when the job restarts next week that it will help. I'll check on Clairee weekes, thanks.

Littleowl, yes, maybe i need to feel my pain, but its SO painful! i hate crying so i try to avoid it. some days i manage to not cry but the pain is always there, maybe even more powerful when i dont cry...

today is a long hard day, if only i could sleep it off... i hate living so many painful hours a day. sometimes im afraid im going crazy for good. i hate this situation, these feelings, this pain. i truly hate them all so much. i cant let it come. im fighting. im fighting. and its so exhausting.

tomorrow im seeing my good T after a month, but i have lost faith he can do anything to help me. i have lost faith in everything, meds, docs, life...