Quote:
Originally Posted by Imah
I am glad you posted. I feel the same way because I don't have 7 chickens hidden under my bed.  Maybe that is why a lot of people aren't writing on here. Perhaps people think because they couldn't be on a TV movie - they have nothing to contribute. Frankly, I feel all alone not knowing exactly how to treat food as un-important as I used to. this constant fixating on it - first thought in the morning, nearly last at night. Sneaking so I don't make noise to the fridge. Counting the minutes until it would 'seem normal to others' for me to go back in the kitchen. Being annoyed if someone sees me getting food as if they are judging me. I think about food way more then I used to. Probably at least once every 15 minutes if not more.
I hope everyone who views this posts. ED are very common. We need to be comparing our experiences to help share knowledge, and the understanding that we are not alone. |
I'm not sure if I'm even that bad - but like I said I have had some really low periods, and my number one go-to emotion suppressant is food. I have bad habits like eating a meal to satisfy a need for a snack, or eating when I'm not hungry (even full), out of sheer impulse. I can relate about being ashamed when someone sees you getting food; I'm one of those people who will take three of four cookies when everyone else takes one; I'm either going to be hiding the extras or going countershame and just not caring. My lack of self-control sparks so much self-hate.
I can't treat food as unimportant either. I'm not the biggest fan of eating with/in front of others. When I was living at home, I would regularly fix myself food late at night, or hide wrappers from my binges. I stop by a grocery store almost once a day, often just to pick up a snack (a couple doughnuts, or a muffin, or some candy). It's such a habit that not stopping takes willpower. I think the only reason I've been avoiding shopping more easily now is because I've been sick a lot lately, and genuinely don't feel like eating.