I have this problem too. I never used to be like this and used to wish everyone the best. Since my life started going wrong with depression my career went off the rails, I got no house, car, no friends, no money. All my peers have it all now. Earning big salaries, living in posh houses and getting on in life. I feel envious but also ashamed at how I have failed in life. I don't know if there is any way of getting around how this comparison hits you in the gut. I know that no pill can ever make it better. I've tried all the meds.

I guess you just have to live your life for you. Like that Sammy Davis jr song 'I've gotta be me'. Try to learn to love yourself which should raise your self esteem and give you ability to move forward with your own life. This is my plan anyway.