Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJenny
Why are you so sad? I thought your music career is going well, you seemed full of enthusiasm when you wrote about it not too long ago. And didn't you buy a car very recently? That's a good thing, isn't it?
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Yes it is I'm very happy for the achievement I made, but what's been this constant hell. I deal with everyone literally in my daily life being ostracized being the one whose minimized at times when I'm needing support emotionally my whole life is devoid of the devotion I give to others.
When i was so young to now, when I scream in anger and when I was younger threoeing temper tantrums was not that I wasn't getting my way or being spoiled at all.I demanded to be loved, because I need it. I truly have felt and placed in this spot of past of point of no return to be helped since ever. I always had myself no one gave me the luxury most people I'm around have.
I search relationships for something I need, because I've never gotten it. I always feel scared, abandoned and suicidal because the pain is too much to handle every day.
If I had what I needed. I wouldn't be here now. God doing things on my own since I was 4 never thinking about being a kid, but wanted someone to love me. I wanted someone to be here helping me helping myself. I badly want it. I feel guilty my friend is dead.