Thank you all for the comments -- this is really helpful feedback regarding an issue that has just honestly been tormenting me recently!
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Originally Posted by Echos Myron
Is the ASD your primary reason for being in therapy? I wonder if it might be worth trying a therapist who doesn't specialise if you are finding the options limited (perhaps even not disclosing until you have met, so they have the opportunity to meet you as a person, not a diagnosis). I know there are others on this site with ASD who see more general T's.
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ASD is the primary reason for therapy, definitely, and a major reason that options are limited now. I am not very good at explaining thoughts clearly, rarely make eye contact, and tend to be very rigid in my thinking. I imagine this makes me a pretty unlikable client, but people who seem to accept that this is the way I am (instead of assuming I'm willfully choosing to be difficult/resistant/weird/annoying) tend to be a much better fit for me. I'm hesitant to look into seeing more general therapist again because it has been so unsuccessful for me previously, but I know I need to be more open-minded...
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Originally Posted by lolograce
My guess is that, since you are going in the evening, he only has very limited spots and has committed evening appointment time to too many clients. I doubt it is about you being unlikeable; probably more about poor time/client management on the therapist's part. Talk to him about scheduling out a several weeks/even a month in advance to reserve weekly appointment times. (It might take a few weeks to get that set up as he'll initially have to work around who he already has scheduled, but he should be able to do it given a few weeks.) If he is unable or unwilling to accommodate that, then you might need to find a different therapist.
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This seems like a good solution, potentially! He only has evening appointments, so I don't think that is avoidable, but if I could schedule multiple weeks in advance, that might be very helpful.
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Originally Posted by Pennster
What I would be worried about is that he doesn't seem to understand the need for consistence in therapy. I would talk to him about it- maybe that will be enough to resolve it.
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This is part of what bothers me a lot also! I have a ridiculously hard time when things change and feel like I really need predictable routine/schedule to feel more comfortable. At the same time, I'm hesitant to say anything about it. I feel like "beggars can't be choosers" and I just should be grateful that he's willing to see me at all.
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket
Wait, he said you weren't actively working on something? That's a terrible attitude from a therapist towards a client who just started. If you want to be in therapy, find one who can see you weekly. Many therapists do have evening and weekend hours regularly, and they shouldn't take on new clients unless they know they can meet regularly with that client.
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Yes, if I'm remembering correctly, he did say that (about me not actively working on something). It may have been true then, as I didn't have really clear goals for therapy, and not really in crisis. I'm unhappy/unsatisfied with life currently and honestly have a lot of issues/reasons for being in therapy, but may have been unclear about that initially. I do believe I'm actively working on that stuff, but not really inclined to share that stuff with relative strangers (or anybody really, for the most part).
In some ways, that comment helped to motivate me also, as I feel more pressure to be a "good" client and to make actual changes, so that I can prove (in some ways) that I am making progress, motivated to improve, etc.