When I was first diagnosed? I was a fifteen year old, dramatically attention seeking, desperately emotionally labile, and wildly uncontrollable mess. I didn't believe the diagnosis but you would have never known it. I thought it was cool and I thought it made me like a superhero to my friends. In my late teens , I wasn't as much of a wild flower and accepted it for what it was. However, around 20 years old I became so much better I believed either God had healed me or I never had it at all. Then, at 28, I had a psychotic break. Once there was no denying my bipolar disorder, I was undeniably devastated. At that time, my life fit securely in a box. And it was both deeply traumatic and intensely overwhelming.