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#1
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What was your reaction when you were diagnosed with bipolar disorder? How were you diagnosed?
----- It definitely caught me off guard! ![]() I was previously diagnosed with ADHD and depression, and I went to seek medication/treatment from a psychiatrist. He asked me how I felt, why I had difficulties concentrating, etc. etc.. Then he said, "No, that's not ADHD. Here, fill out these surveys." The surveys were mood disorder surveys, which confused me. After I filled them out, he said, "Have you ever heard of bipolar disorder before?" "I've heard of it, but I don't know much about it." "Based on what you indicated here, and based on your current behavior, you have bipolar disorder. You are both elated and depressed right now. I can't give you stimulants for ADHD because they cause mania." I didn't know what to say because I was sort of stunned. ![]() |
![]() BlueInanna
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![]() Row Jimmy
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#2
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It was after I had a mania situation after being put on sertraline. This was seven or eight years ago. I think I just had a bad side effect. The pnp I was seeing at the time diagnosed me with bipolar II.
Honestly I didn't care because I didn't feel it fit. I still don't. Last january I had some sort of mania psychosis situation. This wasn't med induced. And other than that experience which I can't explain, despite how much I try, I still don't feel the bipolar thing fits.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#3
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I had my first bout with mania and psychosis and ended up in inpatient (semi-involuntarily, allegedly I signed something but I was so knocked out on something > 5 mg of ativan that I don't remember almost any of it) via the emergency room at a regular hospital. After a day or two, a team of 10 doctors at my psych hospital met with me and they said "You have bipolar I. Do you know what that is?" and I got very annoyed (I was still manic) and I said "I'd rather be schizophrenic! I'd rather any diagnosis besides that..." and started listing all the reasons off why that couldn't be what I was. I would not wish learning your diagnosis that way on anyone...
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dx: Bipolar I (Spring 2014). |
#4
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Actually, the more I think about this the more mad I'm getting! The only reason why I went to see someone in the first place was because my anxiety had become intolerable. It wasn't even because of depression! She just found out I was a writer and immediately YOU MAY BE BIPOLAR! I didn't even have any memories of mania or hypomania. I had depression. Actually, at the time I think I may have been down because of all that anxiety.
Okay, anger rising! And now I've wandered around with this label for eight years!
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() BlueInanna
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#5
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I wasn't surprised - it tied things together for me and once I did some research on my own and understood BP, it all made sense. I really didn't know much about BP until someone said "you might be bipolar". Thus, looking back on my life, my behavior connected closely to someone who has BP2.
My diagnosis was sort of forced upon me. My wife *made* me go see someone because I was getting worse and my strategy of "I'll figure it out on my own" wasn't working. Furthermore, my excuse of "this is who I am" was wearing thin. So my p-doc sat me down, asked me a bunch of questions about behavior, history, and family history, and just let it sit for a while with no diagnosis......just some ideas about BP or BPD. I was initially prescribed Depakote and that helped but things were still a bit edgy. After a few more meetings, he decided on BP2 and put me on lithium which has worked well. Now I'm in CBT therapy and that's going fine too but one day at a time. |
#6
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My initial reaction when I was 18 was disbelief. I thought at the time that bipolar was over diagnosed and that people got dxed with it for the smallest reason. And at the time I had never experienced a happy mania that I knew of so I was like how can I be bipolar, I never get happy. I didn't know about mixed episodes at the time. Then I had ECT, worked through childhood trauma, and thought myself cured. It wasn't until 2013 when I had my first euphoric mania that I thought there might be some truth to the dx for me. Now I believe I have it. I've had euphoric manias and psychosis, med induced and natural. There's no denying it any more.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
#7
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I was sent to see a Psychiatrist after 7 months of sever depression. He admitted I was fine as I was now put of depression and back at work.... living a proper life again. That was in May by the July I was resent to see him by my GP as I was Hypomanic.... by this point Bipolar was thrown into the air and we were going for it. By September when I revisited the Psychiatrist and he took 1 look at me and see ah you have Bipolar (which I was denying). I had to do a mood diary for a month and go back. Went back and was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1. I denied it again and wanted a second opinion. He was the consultant Psychiatrist. He gave me all the facts about me I can't deny them. I cried for ages in his office.
Then I called my Twin and told her, we were both in tears :'( Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk |
![]() Row Jimmy
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#8
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My initial reaction was meh, I guess? I wasn't fully convinced. I have suffered from suicidal ideation since the age of 5/6 and I was convinced I had MDD. I had tried several antidepressants (which made me more suicidal) and even ECT (which did nothing). My pdoc suggested bipolar 2 as a diagnosis and as I further researched the illness a lot things clicked into place. As my illness has further progressed there is no doubt in my mind that I have bipolar 2, rapid cycling, mainly depressive with mixed episodes
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#9
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Quote:
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![]() Tigger22
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![]() BipolaRNurse, Miss Laura, Tigger22
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#10
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I was diagnosed 6 yeats this year and I still have my moments of sadness sonetimes I wish I was as well as I had been back then (work, friends, no meds, a life I don't have now). My mania ia controlled which sucks as I miss them so much well the good ones that is
Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk |
#11
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I'm not sure I even believe it now lol
But I want symptom management so I keep seeking tx
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I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
#12
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I was diagnosed BP 2 when I was in my 30s but I didn't really "know" it. Many antidepressants were tried but I was still depressed so my pdoc put me on one antidepressant which triggered a hypomanic episode. We then added Lithium and it worked to stabilize my moods. I remember asking if I was bipolar and my psychiatrist asked ME if I thought I was. I said probably. He neither confirmed nor denied the diagnosis.
It wasn't until I entered therapy in 2008 that the diagnosis was confirmed when my new T asked how I was handling my BP. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked that I actually had that diagnosis on my medical records. When I confronted my pdoc he said he thought I knew. In retrospect I did know, I had diagnosed myself! My therapist and I worked on my sudden realization that i had a chronic illness and what it meant. That took a long time for me to accept. I think I have a wonderful T and Pdoc. I was in denial all those years even while getting regular blood draws for the Lithium, experiencing the destabilization and subsequent change to Depakote, and the angry outbursts caused by my hypomania. Now I take my meds faithfully and go to therapy. I am stable with an occasional depressive episode which med changes address. I don't think constantly about having bipolar, I just take each day as it comes.
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Bipolar: Lamictal, and Abilify. Klonopin, Ritalin and Xanax PRN. |
#13
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When I was diagnosed 10ish? yrs ago I was already going through major swings and self harming so I think I expected it. At the very beginning it was just MDD that didn't surprise me at all. Honestly I was more appalled when I found out I had BPD! I didn't fully understand it so when I looked it up, not only did I have every symptom but I felt like a complete monster! Thought I was just an evil little alcoholic baby then. Yea I'd say that scared me way more.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
#14
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I found out after it was suggested I get a psychiatric referral by my boss after becoming increasingly more depressed agitated & out of control after starting antidepressants for a moderate depression. Don't get me wrong she was good about it, just told me she was concerned about me & that she had been treated by this Dr & it helped her & she wanted me to see him too. So I did. He dx bipolar spectrum & then bipolar II.
I had already been searching for answers as to why I was getting worse & more agitated on antidepressants & stumbled upon bipolar II & the soft bipolar spectrum & it resonated so I'm worried I might have led the dx in that direction. I knew he suspected bipolar immediately when he started to ask some of the characteristic questions within minutes of my arrival. So I know there must be enough evidence for it but still can't stop questioning it.
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Dx: Bipolar II, GAD, past substance abuse, temporal lobe epilepsy. Rx: Lamotrigine 125mg, Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg prn. |
#15
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been three years ... I just last week asked my new T ... her #1 job is find out what is wrong with me ... be it bp, bpd, odc, mmd or just crackers ... I may believe her verdict then again I may not ...
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#16
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I got a diagnosis last March after my new psyc doc asked detailed questions about my hypomania episodes. In the past doctors only asked about depression and anxiety and my unspoken policy of "wasn't asked, didn't tell" didn't really work for me. I'm not thrilled with the diagnosis, or the medicines, but I'm in a more sustainable place right now, and I'm hopeful, too.
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#17
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I was appalled at my behavior so i sought out and got a diagnosis of bipolar when i was 25. The diagnosing psychiatrist saw me once a week for six weeks and did the Minnesota Multi-Phasic Personality Inventory which asks such bizarre question as, "Do you have uncontrollable burping in public?" I had a good laugh over that one. He had me bring my husband in too for one appointment.
I was glad to get a diagnosis of bipolar because it explained my absurd behavior with being on top of the world for a few months and then miserable for a few months. I thought once i got diagnosed i could go on meds and be 'cured' but it hasn't worked out that way. The meds help about 50% but i still have to deal with mood swings. |
#18
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The only psychologist who has seen me during a hypomanic episode was a walk-in counselor at school. I never saw her again.
My depressions aren't all that debilitating, luckily. I feel like the odd one out, because i recognized BP before any of my therapists did. But by god, it is undeniable when every march 20th i wake up feeling like i did lines of blow, for weeks. Not being able to stop talking.. gliding down the sidewalk listening to techno.. getting my nipples pierced then walking shirtless with bloody nips while smiling in the sun.. buying 12 cases of java monsters on amazon and drinking 5 a day.. running on an average of 3 hours sleep for a month.. ect. |
#19
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in fact i have my "journal" of my most recent episode in a word document.. its pretty ****ing insane actually. But i have never been manic. In my opinion.
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#20
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ah - forgot about shoplifting, choking people at parties, calling out my teacher as arrogant in front of the class, and the paranoid dream i had that resulting in me creeping around my apartment with a gun
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![]() Row Jimmy
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#21
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um.. i think i actually feel it right now. its a distinct feeling. but it is by no means something that will keep me up all night at this point if anything at all
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#22
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When I was first diagnosed? I was a fifteen year old, dramatically attention seeking, desperately emotionally labile, and wildly uncontrollable mess. I didn't believe the diagnosis but you would have never known it. I thought it was cool and I thought it made me like a superhero to my friends. In my late teens , I wasn't as much of a wild flower and accepted it for what it was. However, around 20 years old I became so much better I believed either God had healed me or I never had it at all. Then, at 28, I had a psychotic break. Once there was no denying my bipolar disorder, I was undeniably devastated. At that time, my life fit securely in a box. And it was both deeply traumatic and intensely overwhelming.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() Row Jimmy
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#23
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I basically diagnosed myself, exactly four years ago. My pdoc asked me what made me think I was bipolar, then after I spilled my guts for 90 minutes, he agreed with me and dx'd me with bipolar NOS. Still, I had trouble grasping the fact that I actually had this illness until I received my bipolar 1 dx in the hospital. At that point I could no longer believe I was just "making it up" or that it was a mistake. Now I've been re-diagnosed BP 1 by both my therapist and psych NP, putting an end to any thoughts about having BP 2 instead. My manias are bad but I've never done anything like walk naked down the street or hop on a plane bound for New York. I don't suppose it matters...it's just a number, and bipolar is just a label. One that I'm wearing a little easier with time and effective treatment.
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
#24
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Quote:
I cannot stress enough how happy I am those days are over.......but I still love Van Halen. |
#25
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wow sounds so familar
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