Hello & Welcome, NeuronLighShow.
Many people are here at PC for that very reason - they (we) can't talk to family; no understanding or sympathy there.
Excellent. Particularly for people in their teens up through early twenties, using antidepressant medications usually requires special care and attention, which too often is not available. It certainly does not sound available in your situation.

You've already tried a psychiatrist. Would it be possible to speak with a family doctor or general practitioner and list your symptoms (only the symptoms) for them? It would be valuable to rule out other potential problems (e.g. various anemias and thyroid disorders).
I do not know. I've never succeeded in overcoming all self-hate. I usually suppress the thoughts temporarily. My mind wanders enough that those thoughts don't linger.

I speculate that, in time, the most turbulent feelings of self-hate will recede as you accumulate accomplishments that are meaningful to you - reading a book, doing a craft project, getting a satisfying grade on a school project, caring for a pet, travel, enjoying nature, and innumerable other possibilities.

Binge Eating Forum

Please make yourself at home here.