Quote:
Originally Posted by jacky8807
Idk what happened but as of yesterday I became
(Trigger)
Attacked with sudden SI and panic and gloom. Like hit me hard out of nowhere and I don't know how. How can I be so good then get hit strong out of the blue
I feel like ending it all. What's the point. I'm never going to be better. I'm tired and I don't know what is going on
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Sooo....this just happened to me too. I got so much work done this week. I was feeling good (despite having a cold) and being very productive at work. Then I went to my room last night to get ready for bed, and WHAM! Although I'm not too deep (no SI), I just don't even care anymore. Due to neglect of keeping my house as clean as it should be (more so my room than anything; still good on dining and living rooms and kitchen from my hypo cleaning crusade a few weeks ago), I am overwhelmed. I haven't been able to get myself to do anything. I don't want to go anywhere and I'm headed back down that road, I can tell. I'll ask my mom to get my groceries or pick up prescriptions since I can't get out of my room. At least I am able to work now...but I, I feel like crap, a loser, hopeless from ever feeling "normal". I'm up to FIVE medications! And they still can't get it right since I'm so f***** up in the head. And shower? Who does that anymore?
Seriously, the only thing that keeps me from having SI anymore are my sisters kids. One nephew is six and the other is due in May. If I didn't have them, I probably wouldn't be here.
Sorry to hijack your thread Jacky