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  #1  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 08:03 AM
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jacky8807 jacky8807 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: jakevill
Posts: 2,622
Idk what happened but as of yesterday I became
(Trigger)

Attacked with sudden SI and panic and gloom. Like hit me hard out of nowhere and I don't know how. How can I be so good then get hit strong out of the blue
I feel like ending it all. What's the point. I'm never going to be better. I'm tired and I don't know what is going on
__________________
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning, I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, BastetsMuse, bbTofu, BeyondtheRainbow, gina_re, Hashi/bipolar mom, Icare dixit, Moogieotter, Nammu, pirilin, raspberrytorte, Unrigged64072835, Wanderlust90

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  #2  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 08:09 AM
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Wanderlust90 Wanderlust90 is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: AUS
Posts: 643
I'm feeling the same. Keep holding on.
__________________
Dx: Bipolar II, GAD, past substance abuse, temporal lobe epilepsy.
Rx: Lamotrigine 125mg, Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg prn.
Thanks for this!
jacky8807
  #3  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 08:11 AM
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Ocean Swimmer Ocean Swimmer is offline
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Location: Costa Rica
Posts: 2,171
Hi Jacky, I've felt like that before too.
Is there a chance your Meds pooped out? I'm sorry to hear it's so sudden.
I like hearing from you and your posts.
Please stay on PC for support. Go on NAMI website and DBSA for help too.
There is a point for us staying alive. Alternative treatments or conventional medicine will help you pull through.
Remember. Feeling like this is temporary.
I pray, so will include you in my prayers. Love your way.
__________________
Bipolar 1
Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150
Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam
Hasn't helped yet.
From sunny California!
Thanks for this!
jacky8807
  #4  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 08:25 AM
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Icare dixit Icare dixit is offline
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Do you (still) only feel like that in the mornings?

I now experience that when starting the day. Only when it gets worse is it like that all day.

Maybe get some stimulation from nature or crowds of people. That often breaks such mood if I take it seriously enough: when I try to fight it and not see it as predestined. If you're quick to act, it might not consume you.

Try not to think, try not to feel anything as a result of your thinking and try to just feel. In the end, feelings may control you, but thoughts only do when you let them.

__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
Thanks for this!
jacky8807
  #5  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 08:58 AM
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gina_re gina_re is offline
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Location: East Coast
Posts: 3,537
Easier said than done, but keep trying to get better. You know you've had it before and it can return. We just have to work that much harder to get it. I wish you find relief soon. I know you will. Please take care.
Thanks for this!
jacky8807
  #6  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 09:38 AM
hopeless2015 hopeless2015 is offline
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HUGS

Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
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Current Meds
Lamictal 200 mg x2
Seroquel 100 mg
Thanks for this!
jacky8807
  #7  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 09:54 AM
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raspberrytorte raspberrytorte is online now
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Hugs jacky.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
Thanks for this!
jacky8807
  #8  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 11:18 AM
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Moogieotter Moogieotter is offline
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jacky jacky (((hugs)))

miss you!
__________________
Current Status: Stable/High Functioning/Clean and Sober

Dx: Bipolar 2, GAD

Current Meds: Prozac 30mg, Lamictal 150mg, Latuda 40mg, Wellbutrin 150 XL

Previous meds I can share experiences from:
AAPs - Risperdal, Abilify, Seroquel
SSRIs - Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft
Mood Stabilizers - Tegretol, Depakote, Neurontin
Other - Buspar, Xanax

Add me as a friend and we can chat
Hugs from:
jacky8807
Thanks for this!
jacky8807
  #9  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 03:58 PM
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jacky8807 jacky8807 is offline
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Posts: 2,622
Thx
It just makes no sense , the sudden plunge. It's a painful plunge too. It just came idk
All I can think of is the 11 7 shift is catching up to me
But if we are leading such a precarious existence that anything can screw us up again, what's the point of going on
And on
Its too exhausting
Thx for listening
__________________
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning, I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, gina_re, Icare dixit, Nammu, Unrigged64072835
  #10  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 04:05 PM
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lilypup lilypup is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: out west
Posts: 1,606
I think it could be a shift change or change in pattern sleeping. Or meds pooping out as someone said. This happened to me suddenly when I started Ambien. If you can think of it as a chemical change in the brain that can change right back maybe it will help.
My advice is probably worthless but thought I'd try.
Hugs.
__________________
Lamictal
Rexulti
Wellbutrin
Xanax XR .5
Xanax .25 as needed
Thanks for this!
jacky8807
  #11  
Old Mar 23, 2016, 04:18 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 76,774
shift change is really hard on bipolar, be kind to yourself
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



  #12  
Old Mar 24, 2016, 02:18 AM
Anonymous45023
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(((((((((jacky)))))))))
  #13  
Old Mar 25, 2016, 08:18 AM
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gina_re gina_re is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 3,537
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacky8807 View Post
Idk what happened but as of yesterday I became
(Trigger)

Attacked with sudden SI and panic and gloom. Like hit me hard out of nowhere and I don't know how. How can I be so good then get hit strong out of the blue
I feel like ending it all. What's the point. I'm never going to be better. I'm tired and I don't know what is going on
Sooo....this just happened to me too. I got so much work done this week. I was feeling good (despite having a cold) and being very productive at work. Then I went to my room last night to get ready for bed, and WHAM! Although I'm not too deep (no SI), I just don't even care anymore. Due to neglect of keeping my house as clean as it should be (more so my room than anything; still good on dining and living rooms and kitchen from my hypo cleaning crusade a few weeks ago), I am overwhelmed. I haven't been able to get myself to do anything. I don't want to go anywhere and I'm headed back down that road, I can tell. I'll ask my mom to get my groceries or pick up prescriptions since I can't get out of my room. At least I am able to work now...but I, I feel like crap, a loser, hopeless from ever feeling "normal". I'm up to FIVE medications! And they still can't get it right since I'm so f***** up in the head. And shower? Who does that anymore?
Seriously, the only thing that keeps me from having SI anymore are my sisters kids. One nephew is six and the other is due in May. If I didn't have them, I probably wouldn't be here.

Sorry to hijack your thread Jacky
Hugs from:
Anonymous45023, Icare dixit, lilypup
  #14  
Old Mar 25, 2016, 12:17 PM
Anonymous59125
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(((Hugs))) I'm sorry you are going through this.
  #15  
Old Mar 25, 2016, 03:03 PM
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BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 10,205
When are you due for your shot? I remember pts who would start having symptoms near the time they were due. That was for less specific meds than are out today but I know it was a big thing because I remember that there were people who would get dangerous as the shot neared and then would be pleasant and calm for several weeks and then repeat.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
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